0Friday. 12th [July 1895]—Devonshire House, Weymouth
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12 July 1895 — Devonshire House, Weymouth
Friday. 12th [July 1895]. Finished reading the letters. It seems to me all like a dream. Was it my life he writes of—& did it really all happen. Ah yes & it is over & all gone & I only am left. I went out before lunch to get some chintz to recover Monty’s sofa. The shopman showed me a white chintz with a little pink rose bud. He asked me if I recognised it as the chintz on the Queen’s yacht. I remembered it well as it was on the walls of the cabin I had when we went the first time to Constantinople in the Victoria & Albert the Queen’s yacht– How far off all that now seems. After lunch Bertha & I cut out the sofa cover & then I took a short walk to the garden & sat there. After a very windy day the evening grew calm. I sat in the gardens & thought that I must now try & exert myself & do something. I have been so idle all this time & as I must always expect to be miserable I must try & work all the same & do something for others—but it is very hard.

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