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5 July 1894 — 1 Queen Anne Street | |
Thursday. 5th July [1894]. This day at 8.15 P.M. my husband died and after 25 years that we had never been apart he left me for ever– In the morning he was still conscious & I sent for the Bishop of Gibraltar who came & prayed by him—& after that he knew us no more & the afternoon was one long agony of terrible breathing till it got worse– They assured me he was not suffering—if not—the suffering had passed to me & at 8.15 he left me forever– Only the 2 nurses, Felicie & I were with him. About 6 the Bishop came & read the final prayers. My brother Monty came unexpectedly abt 7 and remained the night. Mr Rate was also there in the eveng. After an hour or so Nurse took me in to see my darling but it was not him—& I kissed his cold forehead & I was not moved. They took me up to bed in the attic room & I even slept. Then I turned to stone– Today is only 13th & I am writing this with a dry eye– I think I must be odd– On 6th I kept my bed & Augusta Gregory shared my room at night. My people came & went about me– On Sunday 8th I put on mourning & went downstairs. On Monday 9th there was the Service at St Margaret’s Westr & then he was taken to Woking for cremation. At 5 Nurse & I went down to Chenies to stay with Adeline Dss of Bedford & she is so kind & tender with me that I ought to get better but I think my brain is burned I can’t understand or realize. On Friday night they carried him away from the house to have a post mortem & I am told they found he died at last of enlarged heart & mischief in the lung– I have had 2 or 300 letters & telegrams—all kind & nice but all seem to be about some one else– I talk it all over with Nurse & go over every detail of his illness—& still cant believe it– Addie is gone to town for the day & I have been with Nurse for a drive & for a walk– The country is lovely– It is all as a dream– I am well in health—only my brain is stone– | |
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