0Sunday. 20th [January 1901]—Rome
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20 January 1901 — Rome
Sunday. 20th [January 1901]. The morning Italian papers had alarming telegrams on the health of our beloved Queen. Knowing that Adeline had dined last night at our Embassy & that she would therefore have heard the truth, I rushed off to her hotel to ask her– She said it was but too true & she feared it was only a matter of hours. We looked at each other aghast. Can it be true that she must really leave us. She is old & has gone through much affliction—but what shd we do without her. It seems impossible England shd be England without our Queen Victoria—adored by all her subjects. I had promised to go & hear the sermon at the Valdensian church & to meet Css di Brazzà so I went, got there very late. The clergyman de Rostan preached eloquently on the sin of “maldicenza.” I went from there to try & find the Dss of St Albans & Addie & hear the last news. Lord Currie had told the former after church that the news of the Queen at midnight was as bad as could be & there be no hope– Lord C. had given orders that should any further telegram arrive while he was in church it should be brought to him—none had come. I met Lord Carlisle & Monsignor Stanley with the 2 Duchesses all looking very grave. I had to go to lunch with Css di Brazzà with a heavy heart. Met Dr Prochet there. He though not Pro Boer thinks our prestige much hurt by the war. Coming out of Css Brazzà I met Donna Laura Minghetti who tried to persuade me to dine with her but I had to go home as I had asked people to tea. The Curtis, Idita Bentivoglio, the Css Canevaro, Baroness Reinelt & Maria Cozzi & George Gordon (Lord Stanmore’s son) came. I suddenly became very hoarse & by the time they all left could scarcely speak. I walked with my maid to the Europa & sat with Adeline Bedford. We talked all over & over abt the Queen & how we both felt impelled to go back to England—as tho’ she was our mother & we wanted to be with the whole family. When I left her to return home I got the key jambed into the street door of this house & it was some time before my maid & I could get it out.

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