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30 March 1903 — 3 Savile Row | |
Monday. 30th [March 1903]. I went out in the electric brougham in the morning with Nellie to 82 Eaton Square to see to the arrangement of the room lent us by Lady Sligo for the concert in aid of the Sailor’s Hospital at Venice that took place in the afternoon & made all the last arrangements. C. Wyld came to lunch & I had invited Mr M. also he did not arrive till we had nearly finished. As I was in a hurry to go off to the Concert by 3 o’cl I left him at lunch, & then just at the last moment I called him upstairs to show him some pictures. Up he came looking nervous & strange. I thought “now he is going to speak to me about my niece—with whom I think he is in love.” I even shut the door & stood waiting, Sure eno’ he began “I think you know what is in my mind.” I assenting he went on “and is there any hope”—I said I was sure there was– “Oh” said he, “I am so glad—may I kiss you?” No sooner said than done—& I thought him strange—but excused it by thinking he must be very much more in love with her than I had thought– But we then seemed to be talking at cross purposes—& it suddenly dawned on me that he was proposing to me! It was a thunderbolt out of the blue—& I felt almost insulted—but I told him “Oh this is all a mistake I thought you were talking of a third person” & then I said who I had thought of. A look of horror came over him & I did what I could to let him down easy & told him I should have forgotten the whole scene from that moment & said goodbye to him & left them there—ran down to the carriage & drove off to 62 Eccleston Sqr to the Concert. I felt dazed—annoyed, sorry & furious—but could say nothing to Nellie who went with me– The man had evidently imagined that I was in love with him—never pretended to be in love with me—& had an eye to the main chance. Whenever I think of the comic scene I laugh—tho’ I am sorry that my simplicity & stupidity should have led him to think of doing me the honor of proposing & I hope he is not really hurt in his mind. Oh! it hurt me terribly to realize that I am not Henry’s wife– I never shall cease to feel I am still & shall ever be so—& the bare idea of marrying again is repugnant to me—& I should feel as though I was doing something wicked. Luckily having to be busy with the concert kept me from thinking to much & helped me to bear it—but I would have given much that it should not have happened. The concert was full & a great success. Mr Benett sang splendidly a strong baritone voice. Lady Sligo & her daughter were there & kind & courteous to all & gave every one tea. The 2 Misses Prior played a duo on their violins very prettily– Mr Coward played on the mustel organ– Miss Verschoyle made her first appearance at this concert—& was terribly frightened & did not distinguish herself. Mrs Burden Miller & Mr C. Benett dined with Nell & C. Wyld with me– We had much talk over the new arrangement we have made with Mlle Clemence the first hand at Lucile & Lady Duff Gordon. She leaves Lucile & has come to the Savile House in partnership– I & C. Wyld provide the capital—Clemence provides the knowledge & taste & we halve the profits. There have been many pourparlers & it has been difficult to settle it as Clemence did not like to throw over Lucile—but the business has been made into a company & Lady D. Gordon was very violent & unkind to Clemence in discussing the arrangements—so she preferred to come to the Savile House & being well known to Mrs Burden Muller she has consented to join us. | |
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